Before You Say Yes to Him: Simple Advice for Staying Married

Marriage in Greenwood VillageYou hear or read about it in the news, especially when some celebrity power couple’s marriage is on the rocks; you hear about it in a priest’s sermon or at the table during a Sunday dinner. Divorce is true for 50% of marriages in the U.S. How this number came about is unclear, but it is absolutely false.

This talk of 50% isn’t good for anyone, not for you when you’re thinking of saying yes to him after a year of courtship; certainly not for the newly married, starry eyed couple next door who are planning to move to a bigger house and raise a big family. It doesn’t help, and it’s not even true.

In reality, 16.9 per 1,000 married women divorced, according to figures in 2008. That’s very far from the 50% gossip. Should you ever find yourself in need of help to handle your divorce, it’s wise to contact a Denver CO divorce lawyer such as divorce-matters.com. Until then, know that you can prepare for marriage so that the chances of a split are reduced.

Be very realistic

Going into marriage with unrealistic expectations is dangerous. It’s not going to be sunny all the time. Be ready to be in a fight with your husband even over the trivial things, many times over the course of your life together. Know, however, that there will come a time when you will have learned how to handle such things so they don’t end in bitterness or coldness. Believe it or not, if you’re lucky, you will learn the right way to “fight”.

Look in the mirror

This means two things: always take care of yourself and your body, and always be honest about what you may be doing wrong if you’re always fighting.

When you look good, you feel good about yourself. Self-esteem is important. Next to that, your spouse has a better chance of staying attracted to you if he sees how much you value your physical assets. That’s not shallow; it’s realistic.

Before you start throwing stones, look at yourself. You could be doing something wrong, like blaming him or nagging him endlessly. This will make a real conversation and resolution of problems impossible.

Don’t base your chances of “making it” on statistics. It’s up to the both of you to not only survive but thrive in your marriage.